The Mad Conductor

To the famed influencers of my pen

I write to you in fear

I write to you unsure of what lie ahead

Set a blaze to always be sitting in the fire

The experiences that crushed me below never-ending worry

My rambling feet wondering when the mad conductor will yield

This wild purple fire of passion thrusting through each cataclysmic explosion

My pen wiggling in wild quickness

Goes the mad poets thoughts to page

Wishing

Hoping

That jack and Allen approve

Seeing all I can see through time and chance

Opportunities and generosity are curses to which I bare

Like a badge of honor with scars do I wear shredded upon my chest

For all to see

I write to tell my tales

I write to say it me

Sincerely

The Mad Poet

Beautiful chaos

I bang and clash in my mind

With the mad man yelling in a padded room

Only can I hear the screeches of love he bellows in wild quickness

Breaking down the walls of my sanity

Into restless feet to move without rest

To move with endless risk

Where they take me

A place where fear and adrenaline and destruction and love

Lie in beautiful chaos

I join in

There is this metamorphosis approaching the dawn

I feel it creeping towards me like the boulder left at the top of the hill

It is coming straight for me

Reckless haste hath not be a thought of mine

I do as one pleases

Kiss a stranger

Fight a jolted lover

Run from the police

Hiding in an alley full of those who have lived so hard

The streets hold them to it

They cannot leave

That time has gone to pass

Just as they are howling to the moon

A light has found me

So they take chase

I rise to the rooftops and see the minds of my generation screaming for more

I join in…MORE!!!!

I join in…MORE!!!!!!

I join in…more

Still I pursue

I read a poem to my mother and felt its memory flash by in a kamikaze of expression

Suddenly I was alone and no one stood in my presence and blackness had taken over

I came to by the lights as it flashed from a switch and just as fast

Her scoffed reply fueled a burning fire, never put out, only dampered

Expression of truth blindly out in the open

No concern for yours

It is the page the paragraph the sentence the line the very word

That begins to transcend us into evolution

We moved into a darkened hallway and in the halls a daunting shadow causes cowering to become us

Only enough times until you stand with her and dance and dance we have done

 In Rome and In Paris

Drank the wine made for the gods and started a merry war for my heart

Those days have long since passed and she tallies 1000 victories over me

Still I pursue and I pursue

123

1…2…3

Tonight it is raining and cold

While the stars are dripped on by the succulent fruits of the moon

As this goes on an orchestra of colors fall on me

Triggering a collective of light in my mind

There are birds singing on branches

Cars driving by as water splashes through the tires

Horses brush in the grass

Hooves falling on the dirt incognito

I feel my butt become wet in the dewey grass

The rain falling on my head

In a world I made

By a trigger at 1…2…3

It’s a week gone and lonesome sadness holds me in its embrace

1…2…3 I am numb and gone

Drifting in a timeless cage

1…2…3 I write pages of my soul

Darkness…silence…perfection

1…2…3

In a timeless cage clocks stop and no longer ticks nor tocks

Until the ink is dry in…

1…2…3

In the bloodstream

In the bloodstream

In my life war has been the always flickering light lead men to light

Seeing the muzzle flashes like mosquito’s to a bug zapper

Why is courage symbolized in gun or country?

Once gold coins pressed to eyelids as token for passage

Death came marching in with flag and national security

Playing his war drum

Invigorated by the rally for a warrior

As the con men of democracy tattered them across flag and newspaper

I have lived in 15 years of war with no change in sight

War and propaganda

Winning over hearts and minds with oil and protection

While we stand dying like a symptom of a disease embedded in the bloodstream 

When I was dead

When I was dead

I cannot remember how the days ticked and tocked with the clock one hand dragging me through the endless monotony

Before the reefer diaries were handed down to my ocular path

What I felt

What I thought

Said

Expressed

Experienced

Was like a black and white T.V without sound

I was unheard

Unseen

Unfelt

Unmoved

Closed up and afraid

Now I feel every misty spray from every wave

Like a wave of emotions from the ocean

Like kissing the lips of your lover

Like time stopping

I am no longer immune to the colors of the rainbow

I am no longer shut off from the evening lights on those hot summer days

My mind has opened up

Into the depths of its truths I lurk finding what I find

Dumpster diving for the things I missed

Aesthetically visualizing the anaesthetized numbing of my frontal lobe

Flash backs and memories fly back

Slowly remembering when I was dead