Always true

Younger and younger as they were

How love grabbed them young

Held tight by the new marks they possessed and status together

Apologies to the young on each slap

As juveniles we know not what we do

The torment to each other

Blood spilled and lips kissed

Hips hugged screams felt as the young lovers sat there in the dark and silence passed by

Just before they sat there in the dark making sounds only they could create

Before they were there when they first heard their hearts beating faster than butterflies ever could

They were just young boys and girls in love

Sparkling Christmas trees

I don’t have vindictive habits in my heart because all I want is for happiness to spread throughout the land like pretty ornaments on the Christmas tree sparkling brightly among the darkness 

My road travels part 1

I remember thinking one day I would go out west, but I was west and so I went east and then south.  I missed the vagabonding with my thumb ajar and going poor and cold.  Instead I hopped on this big fucking rocket ship out east to Texas to meet the warden in a cow field, except at this time he was not the warden, merely a keeper.  The keeper and I drove on the Texas back roads away from civilization into the dirt where I lost cell phone reception the further we went east.  As we went deep into the Bible belt dustbowl, I told of my wild ways previously and he knew of them and that I was proudly a stoner from Oregon just as he was with my father.  Reminiscing on months back where I filed my apartment with pot smoke and laughing and being merry.  Talking of my dealer escapades on the farm growing and he saw the correlation of blood with whom we were kindred spirits.  I say this with the naivety that someone could be a kindred spirit of mine, especially because he turned out to be the warden.  We shared troubles of law and women, he spoke of his criminality and how he became so tamed.  I swore in my mind I would never be like him, so quickly to take the poison of domestication.  We drove further still through Texas into the wilderness where the darkness makes us all alike.  In the darkness everything seems quieter especially as I nodded off in the passenger seat of this beat up old van dragging us across the country with a ticking time bomb strapped underneath us, bound to go off at any moment. In the inside the upholstery had been ripped and chewed on and the dashboard filled with the garbage that soon I would call home decor.  The back of the van filled to the wall with old sea faring objects of obsession, including 4 clams that were very heavy and I hated with all my heart.  The van bottomed out on every hole in the ground as we went moved along, I wondered if we would make it.....

So long ago it seems

I want to try something of a kind, experiment, where I write and in a very truthful ways.  I was just thinking on life and how much I loved it.  All the feelings I have felt and it brought me to a place, where I am the happiness I can remember.  It was when I met this adorable little girl that had these little hands that were so strong they could hold a man so tight forever and he would never let go.  I just remember looking at her on the rooftop when we first met and thinking how cute she was and she looked back at me and blushed and held my hardened hands with hers, soft as angel wings hers were and I loved it.  We sat on the rooftop that night and held each other to keep warm, but there was something more as I was caught staring at her.  She did the same to me and all I wanted to do was kiss her and so I did and held her tight all night.  Drunk and stoned fading into the night with this little stoner girl.  I spent the next 30 days or so in her bed and her in mine.  I would see her from afar and think of how supple her little lips were and how she clenched me in each kiss.  She was so small yet she held me so tight and I could not escape from her love and I got caught in the middle of fun and love, and then sprinted into it.  The only way through the storm, is through it.   She and I ran so fast every night.  The stillest we were, was in bed naked and glued to one another until time would no longer allow us such lover’s freedoms.  I just remember her voice in the morning and face, how she looked at me, I was the luckiest man to have had 30 days with her in my bed, doing what lover’s do.  

Bruises

It comes when it doesn’t and it leaves when it does

Repeat cycle and catch the middle in between

Time still with the breeze but scribbles and ink

Then breath and time begins again

Whether love

Sorrow

Pain

Joy

Freedom

Oppression

Black will my bruises imprint on the parchment

Smile pans across my face

It is 10:30pm and the party people have shown up in their pretend attire and shield with gifts as token for entrance.  In the corner a mean looking girl who scares me like no other, I’d rather not mention, is chatting up a fun guy with a fedora and a poodle who does not want the pen behind the ink of her words.  Unrequited, she is persistent.  Later she justifies his refutation of her requests on to him for her bed to share, due to his bachelor status.  Strangers plotted around the room leaning on pine cabinets in a log cabin out where the reception runs still, talk to each other with no comprehension.  I escape to the loft no longer do I wish to be an apt observer to their childish ramblings and actions.  In the silent cold air I breathe in solitary confinement, I am glad to endure upon tonight’s shivering temperatures.  The still talk in the air out here quells the headache I have had all night due to the withdrawal of one of my many horrible addictions.  The morning comes and I am blue from the tundra but a smile made, pans across my face.

Grim rhyme

There is a grim rhyme prancing around me

There is a grim rhyme prancing around me

There is a grim rhyme prancing around me

As if I am in a circus

Enclosed in a tent outside of reality

On a different plane

Floating in purgatory

No feelings of energy bouncing off creating lightness from darkness

Just numbness from this to that

Things or people

Never mind ‘em’

A giant hand gone to pause the whole darn thing and put me on this track without

Sense

Logic

Rationale

Just a cloud of strangeness and obscurity hovers above

Dropping droplets of bewilderment and confusion

For going forwards backwards on this train