I have never felt love before

I have never felt love before.  I have been with enough girls and women to know that by now.  I love my mother and my father and my siblings but that is a love you are born with and you just know.  Even though there hasn’t been one whom I could give myself to, I have lost myself in them and done what was needed.  I was transformed by the things we did and the things I felt.  I would call this time, localized insanity.  It happens frequently when I find someone that makes me feel nothing I have felt before.  Time and time again it would happen, and then I am obliterated.  I am not afraid of this, I welcome.  I do so, because it reminds me of my heart and how I hear it beating, even in the darkness it beats ever so loudly.  This cycle repeated and repeated and so I stopped.  I cannot and will not be the whimsy of young cowardly pretend lovers and neither will I give carnal embodiments of love.  No matter the grenade and the aftermath, I will love with the entirety of my heart.  The one who shall get my heart, body, and soul will be so great no female on this planet could measure to her prowess.  Until this person comes into my life and explodes all over the place, I will love fearlessly and be covered in the scars only lovers bear.