Lost and found

Can you imagine a time before now and you were bad and mean and angry, ugly as anything ever can be and then something happened…I used to be a thief, an enforcer, and filled with so much anger.  Slowly after each love I became softer still.  I only remembered one though that stuck out in my mind and she was so beautiful I could not imagine not looking into her big blue eyes.  Then one day she was just gone and no longer was I anything but broken fragmented and lost.  Nothing was left, not even me.  I lost my memory for years.  I couldn’t remember how to do it anymore.  I had forgotten my name, my life, my parents, and all of it was just gone.  Decades past I found something again leading me back to which I had come.  Yet I couldn’t have her, I couldn’t hold her, touch her or even speak with her.  Time had taken her from me just like my old childhood memories.  Were my parents loving or hating? Were my siblings similar or different colors upon the canvas? Was my love pure?  I would never know and yet I was given a second chance with all of these things.  Tears swelled up in my eye lids and felt a rush of a thousand horses running over my chest and with a bolt of lightning in the crowd, there she was once again and all I could do was stare as water filled my cheeks falling to the floor.  I belt out a scream crying loud and all the people looked at me and emotion of emotion shattered through the ice in my heart.  Engulfing me, surrounding me, devouring the fragmentation of my soul, that had been broken many years past.   I could hear my heart beating louder then I could remember, louder then hearts should beat.  I woke in the hospital to find a hand on mine and there she was.  I was stunned frozen by this miraculous reincarnation of my love.  I questioned her repeatedly as the delirium of a mad man, but she did not see a lunatic in a bed before her, just me.  No one had ever looked at me like this in my life and outside my window in the night fireworks burst over the peer as the manifestation of her touch to mine.  Machines buzzed and beeped and screamed loudly as the only way to interpret the evocation inside my skin raging.  The bulls of Pamplona running fast through the halls of the ICU as a bewildered trickle dropped down my spine.  Sensory after sensory overloading and imploding with the smile of this woman beside my bed.