Sunday, September 22, 2013

Healthy green and smiling

All I keep thinking is that I cannot stop this rhyming in my head
This work that word 1…2…3
Like a dead old tree that will never leave
I ramble and jumble words and phrases out
No work can be done against
I think the same goes for my nefarious anger that lies beneath
I fight it and cheat it
Lying
Pretending to be joyful and happy
I mean there are days when all I am doing is laughing fucking drinking smoking
I fear those days may never return
Instead of fear just let it happen
That is what I must do
No longer can I repress it
On anything connected to the word “it”
It is me
Like the dead tree
One day long ago it was planted and it stood very, very tall

Healthy green and smiling

I hate

I hate bright colored wall around me
I hate home depot on weekends
I hate shrines to the baby versions of me and my siblings
I hate new cars to replace something that is old
I hate things for the sake of stuff ownership
I hate watching football Monday,Sunday,Thursday,Friday, or any day of the week
Distracted like gladiators from the coliseum
I hate shortened versions of words that kids think are cool
I hate little men they become from stupidity
I hate guns for protection in opposition of killing
I hate wars of little men
Killing the brains away from the kin
I hate dollar bills and bills that only get paid to stay on
I hate people who do this to me
Making me angry and full of rage
I just want to see a man killed today
My chest heaves and hums as I stiffen up my mind full of hate

P.S I also hate people who tell me what to think

I dare you to wait and see

I arrived here at the beginning of sunshine
I fought like some rabid dog
Who doesn’t want give up their ways
I clinched my jaw and growled horrible things
Barked them too
Defying the law
A mind set I have only known or seen
I spat at them
Tripped them like an angry boy pissing off all who eat drink or pee
I snarled and knarled my teeth at them
My bone!
My bone!
My bone!
You stay away or I will chomp off both of your arms today!
Somehow they got to me
Put a pill in my cup
Made me clean up
Civilize up
Comb and button up
They had tied rope to my collar and kept me close by
Not seeing or thinking freedom times again
A daze I have been in
To have been calmed and docile without a fight
Now on this might I tatter and shatter all the mess that they made
Make me feel and think this way
I know now this chain must be broken
So once again freedom will be chosen
For me
For me
For me
Or else

I dare you to wait and see

Inmate 2917

Every night I go outside
Rain pouring
Star above
Horses and cows rustling in the grass
I puff 3 times and normality
Runs rampant
Setting me on an even kilt
Before I would puff all day and night and I might be wary of sound I make
Now I sit in barred windows in a padded cell
Where I am told when and what to eat
When to sleep and when to wake
I am told what not to think
Like inmate two 9 one 7
Only reason they haven’t bought me clothes is they cannot without missing some kind of rent
In the beginning of puffing for me was done in the pair with no opposition beside me
Now he sits barreling a rule book of attitudes and reconsiderations
For me to choose what not to do
A wicked retreat from this dwelling is burning up my body from my knees
The planned escape on a plane to Austin Texas or maybe New Orleans
After I stop in San Francisco stopping at terminal C
A new life temporarily
Farming and living simply
Roading and see all I can see
For two months maybe three

Who knows if I will come back home again 

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Man at sea

A man took a boat to sea and 12 years past he returned from where he departed
Upon arrival he found nothing of family or remnants of what once he had
Love
Family
Happiness
Peace
So he waited
As his family gone far and wide to the highlands
Long before time would be recorded in the books among the stone and earth
They found a home with cattle and crop
Yet it was not a home
So they left and they would do so for years and years
Until the boy a man the woman old as the history books that soon would tell this tale
The never left his castle with the fear of their return while he may be otherwise gone with the wind again
As the man turned with the clock decaying
Bone became clay to dust
Written down of him was nothing
As he lie upon his dying days
Nostalgic of his regrets
For then he could seek restitution in his wife and boy with a life’s work
Time trips back to his time at sea where he wrote of sites seen
Journal entries of his longing
He leapt to sea after thought and though on the life he would have if the sea call him longer then nigh
Drenched and tired he would find his beautiful wife and boy playing in the hills
Where he would find them he proclaimed no day would pass where he be of riches and without love
No day where his family fragmented broken in foreign lands
No day where he would not love them in peace
No day he would depart and not come back until he lay in his final bed

His tombstone would speak of the love he possessed for him family and no man from his time would ever beseech him

The world's medicine

There are things as a boy
I discovered revelations made on things that hurt and watching her beside me
Never hurt me as much as when she was not beside me
I could only hear my heart pumping
Blood in and out
Hers ran motionless as she slowly died from the broken down valves in her chest
I could hear human noises playing
Trumpets and flutes and drums all together
But none played on inside me
As she stood there sitting
Knowing of my heart
Ignored like a rain’s down pour that would stop, but it didn’t, not even when the earth went dark
Quiet as a mouse
She died from the heart murs murs that did not play
I was just a boy unaware the hurt love can bring
As does it feel woe
Does it feel the best medicine out of all the world
Out of it all love’s work be done to make me well



Blue residue

The cowardly heart of the cowardly lion seen from the eyes of a 19 year old
Seen love’s fervor tongue taste of bitterness
Gone to drink of all the love began
Turn a heart pure to black tar
Quickly pulling you beneath by fear of pain and hurt
A speed avid retreat be your move as to not see that lion cower but as cynicism takes you to places far and wide of blackness not yet discovered
You are strapped into a parasitic creature and untrue
Let hearts fall to the oceans blue residue on the sand
As it will inevitably go out again
So shall love return again and again

Letting sands of time heal your body whole once more and continue on

How to live life

Allen Ginsberg said that the goal of poetry literature writing
Is to write as if you were speaking to a friend unversed in words
One who only knows how to laugh
One who has never cried of heartache
The writer is supposed to feel things presently as to report them well and truly
Early in my life I pondered what life meant to me
What was I supposed to do
Instead I decided on what others made me think I should do
Which arose a second question
What is life all about?
For a long time I thought I was supposed to be this revolutionary of academia
Or the most prolific poet
The best words strung together
As if there was no other way for them to be said
Now I have come to the realization
Epiphany
That life isn’t about being the best worst but life is about you journey
How you road
If you were to ask me how I write poetry
I would say that I write
As if a crowd was all around me with all these question on life and love and I would simply reply
Life is about love and with no other reply my audience could ponder love until they found it

That is what life is all about

Standstill

I am watching some random show in where it is hysterically mad
How funny it is laughing like a boy of stupidity
As if that isn’t me
I don’t make mistakes
In reality I want to see a life altering drama that explains this mode of transportation that got me to standstill
Reminiscent of it when my life made sense
When there was a purpose to it
The words I felt became fiery stones that burnt my lungs as they came up
Funny enough people listened and listened
As if a man was in front of them articulating their mind
Into old hipster go get it attitudes
Yet they couldn’t do the same
They couldn’t live the same
They couldn’t love the same
When it all meant something
When it was brand new
A mad burner felt things tucked back away in the farthest corners of the globe
Now he is cold like winter on the frontier
When we just exist in standstill and do not live


Friday, September 20, 2013

My old Mason jar

I used to have this old Mason jar full up
I could drink it up for days without sleep
I could empty into a pen and fill it up tomorrow
Not but months have past
Now my cup barely fills
Caught in standstill
Lost among the brush without a compass
I walk around aimlessly asking who I may
If they seen my old Mason jar
Full of thoughts
See it was overflowing
While I speed pedal through in a beatnik pace
Gone fast for the living past
Friends and family spent like yesterday’s cash
Of course they haven’t seen her
As my mind rambles on to where I may have put her in my mind
How she felt when I held my old Mason jar
What I was doing when it was full up

Now I can’t seem to fill it up with anything that lasts

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Replied the devil

There is this dalliance with the devil that comes along and set us down low
A place retched place known to the worst things that burn hot a sweat pours down
In which is induced from labor work labor work labor work then death
Only death gives no reprieves in hell
A staggering thing in the mind takes you hand in hand with devil
Your soul is the cost for the walks you take
Piece by piece
Piece by piece
Turned you red and black
For hate and pain burns red hot with smell of its burnt flesh into the air
Black tar sprouts in the sky through atmospheric protection we all inhale its infection of corruption
Realizations of fear that of which is a choice made by you to take the devil down to the riverside
Or caste him from your mind and know what you are of metal and bone and soul
A dalliance with devil plays a seductive tune
In its fiddling strumming like you have never heard
A question comes to mind of the choosing
Which is not for me but it is for you
Replied the devil to I

In a dream lost the few gone to glue on my mind

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Olvidar

In a fit of inevitable lunacy
Insanity ran from between my tongue lips
Just as you took breath
Gasping for air between kisses
Just as I am now
Resurrected from the shell of myself that sprang free from the jailor
Let free to roam for a day in the corridors of my brain
A worried barreling mad man
Bound for solitude for the length of my days left to the sands of time
A day in history with which these hands that once loved so true and intensely on the touch of your skin
Now write atonement for my sins
Redemptive quests set for the train to olvidar

Where people go to forget the rains

Kingdom Saudade

A walk to the bus and on the max
A fortune teller talks of a horrid prophecy within earshot of me
Meetings for with spark would be made
For a time or two and then will die forever
From a hated man by the widower’s scorn
Sent and sent with no reprieve
A heartache life she has lived to now and all of man beware
Unbenounced to I
A vine hath grow to set the charlatan’s story to time
Readied to grow berries and the most succulent fruit
To form a kingdom in the base of saudade
Where love comes to tempt those of its grasp onto a sadness storm last through the changing of light


Sparrow's song

There are these post- it notes on my computer screen
Lines sporadically called in home not forgotten recorded in real time
While I listens to the sparrow’s song on my window sill
Songs of mortals that ring true as my departure looms
I choose to indulge in the race my heart leads and decorate the wind
The water
The earth and fire
Intended adventures transcribed fall to the whims of a lover’s tune
Sent from the sparrow talons
Written during this rain
It just does not stop all night under the moon on the 5th of November

Only then do I remember how love can come and go throughout eternity 

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Expression

I could not sleep last night because for this moment my mind has been renovated as your new waiting station
Drawing a canvas of our lives
Separate before the chatter
What does it matter as long as I am waiting right next to you
My eyes shut with no flutter or fuss
From the rushing and mushing of my heart through Rome on a steel carriage bound for the countryside of Turin
I promised I would be writing poems all night but all I could do was one among the many played out in my mind
Awoken by her face in the morning
Laid a smile across my mouth wide
Like the sun to the mountains and down the river streams
All smiling on one another with love
Listening to the lovers kiss back on one another
Until the moon hangs low for their ambient environment
Time does not hang around this place
It does not have a role in this life of mine
As I go on this poetic jaunt


Monday, September 9, 2013

Again and again

A long night ago when the summer night lights never shut off and then she was just there
The cows mooed and the horses stomped in the grass as the wind blew dust in my eye
A beautiful bird fluttered inside carrying me across the night sky all day
Through the herb gardens and mushroom fields
She was the prettiest thing I ever did see
Held tight in the hot springs in the south of the forests of right and wrong
All I could remember was all that I have done wrong
Beautiful birds fluttered their wings as she came soon
Singing loud so that all I heard were love tunes
Once more they fluttered again and again

She smiled and I was through once more they fluttered again and again.

Dream Girl

In air molds terror
White as bone to skin tone and I do not know if my feet could move
This is when she comes to you
Moons would pass from this time and still I would feel her on me as if she never left
Her long brown hair
Green eyes of grass and then I am off these ragged wheels on the track
Smells like nothing I could ever forget as if she was sitting next to me
Taking me to a time when pain never came to mind
Where we kissed and held hands on top of the rooftops
Against these rugged tired hands with miles ahead
Her soft skin let a dull wind take away my shuffling pain
On top of Thompson hall in 1963
My adventurous heart took me to mistake the sun and the rain

As a dream girl bloomed next to me

Berries

Deep in the forest there are these berries
High up in a tree old as time
To partake takes two of similar type, in order to indulge juices in your mouths tonight
A partner to begin a crime with and end the night in escape of the night
Cops nipping at our heels as we scream and laugh in joy
A scowling face to look at mind as I lay here and whine
Howling to the moon all until light comes back to me
When I wake wrapped in your arms
These berries are so succulent poems shed books from bark
Cause birds to sing lovers anthems
Laughter from the sea
As the coolness brushes over us
A time where we could be joined together in the poverty of a cardboard box
With only hands to hold tightly together as our love battles the night tundra out our hearts
Now it is time for the climbing and soon the top shall shine a light to belief from not


Only happiness is guaranteed

Believe in this Young apple seeds
The tale of the young burners is hard to tell
So I reach from my hat of expertise
Mastery of mistakes and regrets
Allow me to transform to the a time where my story is told
The morning silence of nothingness and broken bottles
Bring me solace in the solitude of the early day
Where my mind is clear and fresh
Yesterday’s chaos left with the dreams I do not have in the hours lost to my slumber
Waking me are the screams of a new dawn
Where young men and women wake to commence with their lives once more
The warfare characterizing my before
Only a distant memory of the mad days I know all too well
The crazed hours filling me with worry and concern
For where am I to be going in this life of sorrow
Only tomorrow is guaranteed in my life
So I live day to day
Hour to hour
Minute to minute
Second to second
Only knowing that the hand of father time will always move
This promise of time
Forces me to take the day by the hand
Down to the river to see each wonderful ripple
As I throw the pebble of my curiosity
For this happiness I feel is all that is guaranteed in this world




Homeless

      
Mad days fill my mind with chaos and unknown
Rotten floors are vile of soot and sorrow
Sinking toilet full of shit
Dipping into the depths of madness

Rotten floors are vile of soot and sorrow
I become an animal in a cage stuck
Dipping into the depths of madness
Falling through the black tar choking unable to die

I become an animal in a cage stuck
Dipping into the depths of madness
Falling through the black tar choking unable to die
Mad days fill my mind with chaos and unknown




Saturday, September 7, 2013

Green and blue

I been traveling down this old country road too long
Must stop to see what I might have been missing
Out in front of this broken down lost to time
This general store weighted down by the passing by of others
Desolate now
Once an immaculate place where towers were once ivory and blue
From the clouds where I saw Zeus
The fields and grass grew
Green and blue
People laughed and loved and played all day long
Love and peaceful as if they were glue
Stuck together as they are supposed to
A tumble weed gone by
Shows her past beauty and now her scarred face
The tears on her cheek cover the ground with rains
I do not know where it all went wrong
How I got to a place unglued
My mind plays through acoustic sets
Echoes strums on my old Gibson guitar and crickets set the sound around
Who knows their own final destination until it becomes true
Soon I will be home where trees grass and dew become my true blue green with a few

In a place where glue grows green and blue

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Paper in the wind

An orchestra sits down
All of its brass and air puffed
To set the song for my dreams tonight
Will I see her again?
If I do, will I remember her face?
Will I be without?
Forced to the whims of a fear
I do not have
Spies in countries unfriendly
Brawling lover in England
Gangster in the Bronx
Intellectual in San Francisco
Dining in the 1920’s
They play louder and louder and the play keeps going
Love
War
Peace
Lust
Desire
Passion
A million stars above me
When they stop the sounds

Will I remember her or is she gone like paper in the wind?

Pitch black nights

There this blues station lying down on the riverside
People only frequent at the pitch black of night
Broken drunkards high on the possibilities and other hallucinogens
To see what is lost and what is found
Only the night can answer
A devil woman fueled on my woe and sorrow goes down easy with her whiskey
A fight with a big barrel man
A fight and a beating I chose for feeling in this anesthetized state loss has put me in
Another story I shall not tell among the ones that are told
The music blares loud to blow out thought
Sweat stench leaves my nostrils unable to pull on the memories
I came to forget on this night
The drinks keep coming in solemn pace driving me towards the back to smoke grass with a midget blues man
Until I wander to the fields wondering
Where did I go?

How did this place call me into a dreary dream that haunts my conscious thoughts all night and day 

Other inhalation

Step on the gas kid
Not too hard
You don’t want to flood it
Ticks down the digital clock
Boom zoom bat
Get up on the flat
Reboot to see the trap
Eyes flicker on
Old lanterns carrying through to the end
In that air goes flowing in
Through nasal cavities and some other inhalation
To get me here
Time
Chase
A place
Food for the brain
Set on a new rhyme

Tomorrow who knows where I’ll be?

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Bear fruit

I step with haste
To a new adventure
Leading me on to a new beginning
In which a new oasis
Will be growing
In this place
Dirt and soil and subsistence combine with cultivation of materials needed
Underlying equality and tranquility
Man made rooftops put down on walls of tree
We only take what we need
A place where nature and health may be educators to the new ones coming in
A plan of mine
Sooner than expected and nevertheless a plan takes shape
Mixing knowledge labor and dollars
The keys I need
Among friends and family
An alternate life
I can make

Bear fruit

Poetic devices

Struggle and strife
A poet’s greatest inspirational device
Peace and stillness causes mountains to move
Lifetimes spent and gone to a new life
Reincarnated in the path the mountains did shift
Love lust passion
A truly grand exercise
To test the limits of prose and song
If the man or woman
Be fit for longevity
In result a disastrous score is composed
In rain and grey nothing
A puddle drunk man
Was I than
A soul lost against the grain
Love and tranquility
A bond for true
Would spell infinity
For several more stories to tell


Answers

Solitude
Isolation
An escape from the ever bearing questions
To the running water
Music sounds in the green forest
Where I sought some kind of peaceful trek
Even the questions find me
I go to sacred towers in snowy mountains
Where Buddhists pray and transcend
Through time and space
Do these questions
Come knocking here and now
I cannot escape this
A “this”
That will be the answer to all time and the universe
The questions no longer haunt me

Now are the answers, that define me

Flat on all sides

Life is kind of like a plastic chewed up on bent back bottle cap
When it starts out
It begins with all of its sides flat
Pure
Smooth
Blank canvas to paint our sins on
White pages and empty lines
To start a new map to the packets I got in the back
We don’t touch quite yet
The smooth bottle cap is removed and used
The bottle cap could care less
As all the fluid is drunk up below
Digested and contested
If I quite like that flavor
Or if it is garbage meant for the trash
It may sit there for weeks or years
Until boredom come along
The day the chewing and bending began
Until it didn’t and was put away
Life can chew you up
It can bend you too far back
To the point of conjecture
That causes a scream
But don’t worry because sometimes it is meant to be that way

How would one know if it be any different, if we stayed flat on all sides?