The sidewalk's burden

I can't shake this hatred
it is embedded in my skin
just those little words
made me into some kind of thing
i can't think straight and i am churning in my belly
it burns me down and metamorphosis into ash
i am swept away under the rug
like i was never there
30 years was nothing
my life is hard
an illusion
it tricks me sometimes
disruption pulls me out
ripped from the glass tube
it keeps me calm
subdued into a stupor
from my interruption
i am bleeding red and see again
the walls having crumbled
the floor cracking
the shingles from the roof falling in near my head
there is a ray of light peering in
the dry wall is easy to break out of
the grass is dead
no green in sight
it is just as desolate here as it is in the house
it is still decrepit
the concrete sidewalks breaking from their burden
the roads have been up rooted and covered in asphalt
they tell me it covers up the cracks
but we all know they are there